This blog post is 100% my own opinion. I am sharing how we work with our doctors and surgeons. I fully understand that everyone’s hospital, doctor and surgeons do not work like this (and you should understand that too before reading)…I am from sharing from our own personal experiences. The reason for sharing is to help give you tips to avoid scheduling conflicts.
Okay so one thing that most all cleft moms can agree on is the pit that comes in their stomach when it’s time to schedule surgery, or when the doctor starts talking about surgery. It’s like a pit in your stomach, anxiety and a whole bunch of other emotions all rolled into one. Sometimes you can gather yourself and other times you may immediately start crying, while you know in order to repair the Cleft surgery has to be done (actually many times its multiple surgeries) you just hate the thought of it…
No one likes to hear about their child having to go under anesthesia…
Luckily, we are looking at a year to two years before we have to worry about Emma going for surgery again. BUT right now her ear tube has been doing some wonky things so once we find out whats going on we will know if they will want to replace it or just leave it alone. Im hoping its nothing ear drops cant cure…
So for support many times I refer to the Cleft Lip and Palate Facebook Groups that I am in because its consists of moms that understand first hand my experiences and have “walked in my shoes” or are currently “walking in my shoes”…having a child with a Cleft isn’t an easy process so we help each other.
A common theme that I see in both groups I am in is “scheduling conflicts” when it comes to surgery…
“We have surgery scheduled, BUT there is a wedding during this time, or there is a graduation. Or my cousin scheduled her wedding this day but we have surgery scheduled.”
At our hospital our surgeon pretty much works off our schedule, they give us a timeframe and we check our calendar against the dates that he has available. We try not to schedule during major events because we would never want to split the family with an event and our childs’ surgery. And honestly, we don’t want our family to miss out on anything family related…we don’t want Emma to grow up and look at different pictures and ask why she wasn’t somewhere and we have to explain that she had surgery so we had to sit out. Our goal is to keep life as simple as possible and let Emma experience as much as possible.
So there are dates that are ABSOLUTELY BLOCKED OUT…
No Birthdays, No Anniversaries, No Major Family Events (Weddings, Graduations, Holidays, Annual Tailgating Family Party, etc.)…and to be 100% real we need support during that time so no we don’t schedule surgery at a time when we can’t get the support we need. Having your child go under anesthesia is no light matter so I would rather schedule during a time when family can come for moral support, rather than trying to split them between a family event.
Schedule during Breaks in School…
Earlier this year when Emma needed dental work and new ear tubes, but she had just started school we scheduled during Spring Break. Now I hate to take up her breaks with surgeries and recovery, but I would rather schedule during that time then during a time she will miss a lot of school.
Investing in a Planner and Using an Electronic Calendar…
Currently, I use an google calendar and my planner. I cannot stress the importance of keeping both! My electronic calendar is linked to my husbands calendar in his phone; I make sure our calendars are linked so we can see everything and there is no double booking. But from time to time he will take the kids to the doctor and if he has to set up any follow up appointments I want to make sure he knows not to schedule them on days that we have something going on. My planner is my own calendar and I keep everything from doctors appointments to blogging information in it. But I also use it as a cross reference for my electronic calendar and vice versa! This also helps in ensuring that when we have surgery there is nothing on the calendar for the week of and about two weeks afterwards. I like to block out that time for healing and recovery…I tend to take a little more time for the kid to recover and stay away from germs.
Now I know all times you request cannot be granted or avoided, but majority of the time it can be if you ask! Doctors are pretty flexible and if you form a relationship from the beginning and they are pretty willing to accommodate your wishes if they can. And really once you start your cleft journey you are on a schedule, for instance, if Emma needs surgery the time usually falls in the summer or the earlier part of the year. Many of her surgeries have fallen in late January and that is due to her birthday but I have been very stern in that if we do surgery in January she must be able to celebrate her birthday without any additional accommodations! She must be able to eat Cake and Ice Cream…and yes, I say it just like that to the surgeon! I don’t want her to miss any birthday’s due to surgery…so if that time can be avoided, it will be!
What are your rules for Scheduling Surgery?
Please check out more of my Cleft Lip & Palate related stories
