Yesterday was pretty hard for me but I put on the game face and kept going. My emotions took over at church and I let myself stay there for a little bit then got myself together…
Sunday, June 14 makes it 6 months since Darrick II passed away, doesnt seem that long actually it seemed like it all happened so recently. I miss him so much…sometimes I catch myself wishing I could at least go to the hospital and see him or hold him and kiss him one more time. ::sigh:: I guess that will get better over time too, but I dont think I will ever stop longing for just one more time to love on my baby!
Its crazy because Darrick II and Douglass were identical but to Darrick and I they had their own look. And so many times we find ourselves looking at DJ and seeing his brother…
I often wonder if DJ misses him because he is very cuddly, he’s always up for a snuggle session! Emma is still a little young to understand whats going on but I know she senses something when Im missing you because she comes and gives me lots of hugs and kisses…and we all know she’s a little busy body but she stops and loves on Mommy and Daddy when she senses something is wrong…
Darrick and I usually talk our feelings out with each other. We were already super close but I do believe dealing with the loss of a child has taken our closeness to another level. We let each other deal with the loss, however we need to. The one thing we do on days when it seems like our hearts are heavy is stay close to each other…we have a great support system but the only two that really understands our feelings is each other…so we stay close until the feelings kind of pass.
One thing we wont let each other do is go to far, without the other one catching each other, we have two other munchkins depending on us so while we may be grieving or take a day or two to grieve its vital that we stay on the same page and in our right mind.
Im not really sure how to end this post, I just ask you continue to keep us in your prayers…
