Yesterday when we walked in the elementary school for Emma’s In-Class Observation I realized that I wasn’t nervous but I was also very fearful. I was fearful of how she would react to the teachers and therapist, the children and how they would react to her as well as how she would react to them, a new environment…and the list goes on!
Sidebar: She did EXCELLENT!!! She warmed up to the teachers, the environment and the kids right away! As always we are blessed with an AWESOME team that will be working with her…they are so nice and they seemed to understand her and her delays right away! And not only did they speak to us from a teacher standpoint but also as parents! We go back next week for a meeting to find out the outcome and the plan for working with her if she is accepted into the program!!!
Ok so back to my fears…See when we found out that Emma had a Cleft Lip and Palate we were told she would have surgery…Boom Bam…it would be fixed and life would go on. Well life couldn’t be more opposite than that! We weren’t told that she could possibly have different developmental delays, she would have possible feeding problems, she would need different therapies, she could have surgery and what they did possibly not work and we would have to go back for more corrective surgery…we weren’t told all of this. So we learn and tackle the obstacles as we go…
The only certain thing we knew is, whatever comes our way…
Fear you not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
Fast forward to being Pregnant with Twins…
I heard so much about being pregnant with multiples. All the ups and downs, but I had a great pregnancy minus the daily morning sickness and aches and pains! We went for the schedule cesarean and I expected to have two healthy boys (big boys), and then I was hit with another “whammy”…they didn’t know if one would survive so he had to be transported to another hospital and eventually him passing away.
We did everything we could, but God had other plans…and even being fearful in this situation the one thing that never changed…
Fear you not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
Now as Emma prepares for school, we are raising one of our twins, I find myself having a different set of worries/fears…
Worries about their health and continued development, worries about Emma being strong enough to deal with kids that have questions about her cleft (although I KNOW this little girl can hold her own, but kids can be cruel) or possibly try to bully her, worries about whats next for our family, worries about not finding the right place to move and raise our family, worries that I am giving both of them equal amount of time…you know the common mommy worries & fears.
And again, throughout all my thoughts the one thing that I know never changes is…
Fear you not; for I am with you: be not dismayed; for I am your God: I will strengthen you; yes, I will help you; yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10
The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8
