About a month ago I started writing this post in my head, but I stopped because I didn’t know which way I wanted to go with it. But yesterday while talking to my sister before she left I revisited these thoughts so I thought I should go ahead and put it down on paper (or computer)…
In October after I had the twins we were immediately hit with some surprises with Darrick II’s health. I was in one hospital and he was across town in another hospital. The family was split between two hospitals…and now that I sit back and thinking about all the events that took place over the course of this time, I realized that God had a few lessons for us to learn along the way.
There were 2 lessons that stood out more to me than anything…
Lesson #1
If you follow me on Instagram, you have seen this picture (above) posted a few times. I love reading quotes and finding inspirational pictures…my folder on my phone has a TON of screenshots quotes I love, I usually save it and use it later on. Well this quote above was one of the realest quotes that I have ever read.
Friendship is very serious to me! Usually I will go out of my way for a friend, that means that when you hurt I hurt too. Or if you are in need and I have it, you have it too. Throughout this journey if grief and healing, my true friends have really shown themselves. And some people that I have in my life have actually moved up in my circle…
Dealing with the death of a son almost took me DOWN! But as the saying goes “God will NEVER give you more than you can Handle, and He gives you EVERYTHING you need to weather the storm” …this quote is very true. During this time I was shown who are real friends truly are. He placed people in my life that constantly checked on us, that prayed for us (and Im not talking about ones that said “oh, Ive been praying for you” those who really went into prayer warrior mode), people who were by our side when our son was in our arms one last time, people who made meals, people who were there physically, people who sent cards with encouraging words, people who stood with us miles away, ones who after everything goes back to normal for everyone else those people stepped in to make sure we are okay (when life is supposed to go back to normal)…He sent us EVERYTHING we needed! If there was a need to be met He met it…not only did he meet those needs for us but also for family members as well.
And for that I am forever grateful! But along with that I learned that everyone who says they are a “friend” aren’t really your friend! In conversation with my sister last night, we talked about how there were certain people you thought would’ve been there, called or even texted during that time…and you didn’t hear ANYTHING! Honestly, I cant mess with you anymore…because I know where we stand, we can’t possibly be friends if during my HARDEST time in my life you never reached out and simply said “I don’t know what to say…but I love you and Im here”…we encountered a lot of people telling us “I don’t know what to say”…one of the best messages I got from a friend was her telling me she recorded a message on my voicemail 3 different times because she didn’t know what to say, but she wanted me to know she loved me and was here (I knew at that moment…she was in this with me and although it was nothing that could be said at the time, I knew she was there if I needed her)…
Lesson #2
Most of my family are Ushers’ at church…my father is the President of our National Convention Ushers, and throughout life I always wondered why he loved ushering so much because its basically serving others. And honestly, I really asked because there was someone that made fun of him, so I had to figure out why he LOVED ushering so much. I mean if I told you stories of the things you deal with as a church usher, I dont believe people would believe me. Even in church people treat ushers as if they are beneath them (its crazy). But I remember asking him why he loved it so much and he told me that before anything he is a servant. And being young I never understood it, but as I get older I understand it more and more.
Jesus was a Servant! When he washed the disciples feet, He was doing the work of the lowliest of servants.
By washing the disciples feet there were three main things to learn…
“For Jesus, it was the display of His humility and His servanthood. For the disciples, the washing of their feet was in direct contrast to their heart attitudes at that time. For us, washing feet is symbolic of our role in the body of Christ.” (read more here)…
John 13:15-17…For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.
During the last month I saw servanthood in its truest form!
When we were dealing with everything with Darrick II, our pastor was very present during this time (not only him but his family as well). When they saw a need during this time, they stepped in; no questions asked! A lot of people say “if there is anything you need just let us know” but they didn’t wait for us to say something…they stepped right in! The Shepard of our Flock (Our Leader), served us during this time, he made sure that whatever we needed we had! They pulled their sleeves up and jumped in…and it didn’t stop once the memorial service was over.
If you have ever dealt with death you know the hardest time is after the funeral, when everyone has gone back to their normal routines
I myself learned how to be a servant for others! I learned that when I tell someone I am praying…to stop right then and there and pray! I learned not to wait until someone says they need help, but step in where ever you can…Actions speak louder than Words!!!
Love is an Verb without action its just a Word!!
